The Stash, The Dream and The Wardrobe

 

ver the years I have, apart from going
on about my stockings, nails and heels, mentioned more than once my frustration about having my Stash in boxes in the cellar.
If you are new here, or would like to refresh a six year ago read, I recommend a quick detour to my last post on this subject (Her Stash and Me).

[Ed: I’ve just gone through it again to make sure you don’t repeat or contradict yourself too much.]
Should I also read it again?
[Ed: Why?]
Good point..

The Dream I
Ever since I started to buy online I have dreamed of having a wardrobe just for my girl clothes and to be able to line up in a row my heel collection without them being cooped up in cardboard shoe boxes all the time. I think the dream was triggered not only from the frustration of not having my clothes easier accessible and with everything that could get creased being creased in boxes, but also after seeing pictures of walk-in wardrobes and wall to wall high heels.

[Ed: Note. This is not Madam's collection.]
No unfortunately, although when I saw this I must admit I went all funny inside. It didn't last long knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to get any of them on with the size of my feet (9UK/43UK/9.5US), even if I had the opportunity to try.

Okay the wardrobe would not be totally box free. There would have to be transparent containers used for the rest, like makeup, wigs, shape ware and the other accessories to make one presentable.
The idea to just be able to open a door and see all my dresses, skirts, blouses and heels in one go seemed to be so far away for so long.
Well the dream came one step nearer to reality in Summer20.

But before I talk about that a mention of my Stash Storage Logistics (SSL) up to that point.
[Ed: SSL!]
Bear with me a while.
[Ed: I take it that it is Madam’s want to partake of Tea?]
Excellent suggestion! That is something I could have thought of.
[Ed: Any particular Mug?]
Go by the title of the post.
[Ed: As Madam wishes.
I will select something appropriate for the occasion.]

SSL Level 1
In the post linked above from Jan16 I mentioned four cardboard boxes plus two blue plastic containers where I kept my Stash. Well, after I realised that I would lose my work ‘post box’ following retirement at the end of that year, I started a long run of panic buying. The result was that after leaving work there were now eight cardboard boxes plus the two blue ones to keep undercover.
I did the maths. Just a little over 1.7 cubic meters in Stashables!

The cardboard boxes were stored on top of a set of Ikea shelving and therefore not within easy reach without a bit of climbing. As you can see the shelving is full to capacity, four wide by two deep. Also, the boxes were a tight fit which made it difficult to grasp when removing.
Some were also quite heavy due to high concentrations of Heels.

[Ed: At lease you didn’t try to get up on the chair in heels.]
I maybe a little dotty at times, but I’m not that daft!

And yes that is a box from the local English Shop which has now had to close due to prices going up, extraordinarily long transport delays and tons of C&E paperwork all because of Brexit.

At the begin of a session I was pulling out boxes from the shelving system, bringing them down to either get to the back boxes or open and search for a garment or heels, then extract if found and close. The box or boxes would then be left on the floor ready for repacking before being replaced on the shelving at the end of the session.

The main problem with everything in boxes was not only the creasing of fabrics and physical access difficulties, but also, quite literally, transparency. You couldn’t ad hoc see what was stored where.

Sometimes I would realise I had very little time to repack and would just do a 'panic pack' disregarding from which box I had extracted what.
Also I complicated it further by not replacing the unlabelled boxes back on the shelve at the same location. This sort of randomised any patterns/locations I might have remembered which meant by the next session …
I think you get my drift.
Apart from the exercise, all in all, a somewhat frustrating experience.

Accessibility was easier with the two blue containers which were stored among other similar blue containers full of electronic stuff, kites, train set, telescopes, drones etc.
Here the advantage was that in the cellar content in general was stored chaotically in similar blue containers and in random places around the room,
- a sort of controlled cluttering.
The strategy behind keeping it this way was, if you want to hide a tree put it in a forest. Over the years it proved to be a workable solution and detecting-deterrent.

In the above mentioned post I also went on about my first attempts at listing and indexing my Stash. Well with these lists I knew, theoretically at least, where everything was..
[Ed: Unless you had a panic pack attack.]
Which was, I have to say, most of the time. Hence my use of the word 'theoretically'. One loses all sense of time when one is in a parallel world..

Heels, which are about half the bulk of my Stash, also lead to further delays in dressing. The heels that came in their original boxes were easy identifiable. But with heels from e.g. New Look, they arrived at work in thick plastic bags. One time I found a package on my desk with stiletto heels poking through the plastic! The yellow heels in the picture below.
Fortunately nobody said anything, they may have had thoughts about it, but nothing was said.

At first I stored the heels in the same bags, with any holes duct tapped up, which made quick identification more difficult and time consuming having to open them and peering in. Later after a mass mailing at work I took home about twenty of the empty envelope boxes as they were ideal for a pair of heels (see picture). I never got round to labelling them with their contents, which as you will see later was fortunate.

SSL Level 2
Following a few frustrated aborted sessions I decided to try another approach. The frustration was due to still relatively long search times caused by having to move around an increasing number of boxes per session. This was mainly because I couldn’t decide what to wear!

I got the idea to organise everything as far as possible by colour.

All whites together tops, dresses, heels etc.
Shape-ware, makeup and wigs etc. being stored in separate dedicated boxes.
Reorganisation and indexing was more elaborate than before and therefore took more time than just filling a box and starting a new one when the other one was full. But in the end it was an improvement when in search and pick mode. I had, let’s say, ‘optimised the dress work flow’.
If I decided on a mint outfit then as starters dresses, heels and accessories were together in the Mint Box. For the majority of colours there was no need to split a colour between two boxes. Odd colours ended up where there was space. For black however I used the two blue containers. The blue container covers were transparent, which wasn’t a problem as the content was all black and without close scrutiny undefinable.
Here we have in my shorthand the contents of the eight cardboard boxes and the two blue containers: B=back, F=front, LL=left, LM=left middle, RM=right middle, RR=Right. Also for the contents: H=heels, D=dress, Skt=Skirt, Jkt=Jacket etc.
If you want a better look at the lists just click on them.
[Ed: Probably not sure now what everything means after so long.]
Well yes a little cryptic now, but I understood it at the time..

SSL Level 3
After a few colour-coded sessions I found it to be quicker and more effective than before but I was still frustrated that I couldn’t just spread everything out to choose and combine for a session.
I still had limited space to manoeuvre due to everything being ‘multi-box based’.
And I also had limited time due to having to make sure I had enough time to repack in an orderly fashion before Mrs.A would open the front door.

After a while I realised I was usually combining the same clothes and heels and so decided to organise
and store by outfit.
The idea was prompted after starting to pin outfits on my Pinterest page as with the example of the Orange outfit above.
[Ed: Note. This is not Madam's outfit.] You don't have to rub it in!

The idea of storing per outfit would allowed me to be more flexible in what box an outfit could be stored.
If I had outfits that I wore more often they would be stored in boxes at the front, while the rest could be strategically stored at the back.

This also allowed me to think beforehand of an outfit and with the minimum of box shifting go, at least again theoretically, directly to the correct box and everything would be in there as a ‘package’.
This last reorganisation took the most part of a weekend while Mrs.A was away for a seminar. Even with the fun factor it takes time, as all girls know, on deciding what to match to what.

Here are two of the resulting ‘packages’.
Above with red heels, red silk blouse, grey pencil skirt, all packed together under ’Business’. Grey seamed stockings and matching jewellery not shown.
And to the right a silk blouse, pink slacks, two pairs of heels (just could not decide which pair and so packed both) and a pink handbag primed with of course a compact, pink lipstick and pink earrings.
All packed together under Pk1:‘Casual’.
Pink Jacket listed not shown here.

Even with all this store, search and find optimisation of my Stash, how much better to just open doors and choose without having to first consult listings and shift boxes around like in the computer game Sokoban.


The Dream II
As said above the dream came one step nearer to reality after Mrs.A mentioned that it was about time that our guest room was redecorated. And as we were about it, have a built in wall to wall wardrobe with sliding doors, a new guest couch/bed and proper lighting. I was fully decor with this, not only as it was well overdue, but I immediately had an idea with what I could do with the old four door wardrobe in our guest room.

I tentatively mentioned in passing to MrsA that the wardrobe could go in the cellar and I could use it for de-cluttering the cellar of boxes and get at last the chance to see what the floor looked like. I also thought it would be a good idea to keep and move the old bed/couch to the cellar.
She was somewhat sceptical about this as she thought both should be thrown out. She went on about the wardrobe almost falling apart and the couch too hard for guests. And why in the cellar? There was hardly any space down there and if so, where would they be placed etc..
I tacitly left it at that point and we went about making plans for the renovation. Parallel to this I started a ‘feasibility study’ to see if my idea for relocation of the wardrobe and couch would work.

The Wardrobe
As it was an ‘Ikea clone’ type wardrobe it would be easy to dismantle and modify if needed and rebuild two floors down. I measured the wardrobe as it was and the place where I wanted it. The width of the wardrobe was two metres. The space behind the cellar door two metres and one cm! A close call but it would fit, so I thought at first.
Also no real problem with the couch, although there was only a ten centimetre margin where I wanted to place it.
Looking at the wardrobe upstairs there was plenty of head room above it. What I had forgotten is that the cellar ceiling was way lower than the other rooms in the house. The wardrobe was, after measuring the height of the cellar, three centimetres too high.
This would mean, so I thought, some modifications by taking off three centimetres from the doors and walls after dismantling and before the rebuild.
Well it was a little more complicated than that.

My main reason to recycle this particular wardrobe was not only it was there in the house but because the doors were also lockable! Not your heavy duty padlock, just a simple one so the doors would stay closed and didn’t fly open as one went by.
The cellar is also my music studio not just my boudoir. Having the addition of a bed/couch it would also become a potential place to have an overnight guest. It would be a big advantage (if not a necessity) to be able to lock and remove the keys so as to stop anyone, especially younger members of our family, from taking a causal look when alone down there for whatever reason.
If I cannot stop myself taking a peek into a colleague's parents wardrobe while staying the night I can't expect others not to do the same (see The Wardrobe).
I didn’t really fancy doing any woodwork on the doors or locks and so I searched in the Net for a wardrobe where I wouldn’t need to do any form of modification. Well no such luck.
I found out that wardrobes are not usually made for cellars and come in general at a standard height and would therefore not fit without modifications. Also I couldn’t find anything lockable whatever size.
So I had no choice but to be prepared to do a bit of carpentry and to work out how to modify the simple locking mechanism so it would still function.

Over the months up to the renovation Mrs.A got round to letting me have my way. It turn out that at least keeping the couch was a good idea. Due to the heat waves of the previous two summers she thought about going down here to read and relax on the couch while I gave her some background music.

I started to fine tune my reorganisation plan. What was to go where and what had to be got rid of. A friend gladly took the IKEA shelving as I would not be needing it; only the space it took up. I temporarily rearranged the Stash boxes to the other end of the room and covered them with a blanket, hopefully out of sight and out of mind.

On the first day of the renovation our carpenters were a little surprised that instead of having only to dismantle a wardrobe and couch and take them outside to be disposed of, they were instead diverted to the cellar and asked to rebuild them.
I told them about my idea of shortening the doors and the locking mechanism. They listened and nodded at all the right moments and when I had left they just took three centimetres off the base pedestal on which the wardrobe stood leaving the doors and walls intact!
It turned out to be a perfect fit!

I had now, I thought, plenty of room to store all of my Stash. With two meters of hanging rail I could have hung almost double the amount of ‘hangables’. And with 2x2 meters of shelving I could just about line up all my heels.
Well over the following weeks while the renovations were in full swing upstairs, I spent time noting what was in each of the boxes scattered around the cellar and where the contents should go.
It slowly dawned on me that apart from my Stash I had also to ‘stash’ non Abi stuff. I also realised Mrs.A would quite likely want to see how I had put the wardrobe to use and not just be content that she didn't have to slalom through the room trying not to fall over boxes to get to the back door.
The consequence was I would have to be able, in the presence of Mrs.A/family members/friends, to open at least one side of the wardrobe without letting the cat out of the bag. This, I realised meant I could only use one side for my wardrobe and the other side for other things.

With this in mind my first task was to see if I could store all the Stash boxes as well as the other stuff in the wardrobe and close the doors. I didn’t expect the need to hire a subway pusher but I really wasn’t sure it I would get everything in.
It was a sort of pack and pray volume test.
I removed the shelving and rails and every now and then when I had ‘cellar time’ I would move boxes and stack them in the wardrobe.

Well it didn’t take long to realise that I could not store all my Stash boxes in the right hand side of the wardrobe. There were still a few boxes that would have to be stored on the left hand side. The next task was to see if by empting the boxes I would have more flexibility to optimise the storage on the right, e.g. hanging up my clothes and storing heels boxes on the shelves.

There was a time slot coming up where Mrs.A would be away for three hours. I would use this to remove all Abi boxes from the wardrobe, extract hangables and see if I could squeeze them all lined up on the rail.

Luckily for some time beforehand I had started to acquire appropriate coat hangers for each dress and blouse. They sort of just disappeared slowly over time from the wardrobes upstairs. I had to make sure I acquired clothes hangers with hooks and lashes appropriate for hanging up dresses with e.g. spaghetti straps. This was another learning curve as I now had at last the opportunity to hang them up!

Well after getting everything up on the rail I could see that I still had enough room to be able to stack on one side transparent containers for makeup, wigs, stockings, and shape ware, etc. all the way up to the rail. The extracting and hanging process took time and I must admit while doing this it was somewhat surreal realising that all this was mine. All the different fabrics, textures and colours was quite overpowering.
I don’t think I was so happy for a long time.
As I had come this far it was either pack everything back into the boxes and pack the boxes back into the wardrobe or try and store the heel boxes above the rail on the two shelves. Looking at the clock I decided to carry on and not go back.

Less than half of my heel collection in their boxes fitted into the right half of the wardrobe and I had to use both shelves in the left half for the rest.
Luckily most of the heel (ex-envelope) boxes were nondescript with no markings or labels indicating what was in them. I'm glad I forgot to do that.
I made sure that the original boxed heels remained at the back and the plain ones at the front.

Was I relieved as I started to flatten out the eight large Stash cardboard boxes.
I never thought I would get so far..
Well my dream become at last a reality.
My wardrobe was now in a wardrobe!

I can now at least open and look at the contents even though I have no real chance to wear what I see at the moment and in future there is all probability that Mrs.A's out-of-house hobbies will end and she will be home 24/7. A slight shift in the nature of my frustration, but on the whole I’m very happy with the results of a dream come true.

Earlier this year I decided to see how many pairs of heels I could line up on the two shelves. It turned out I could place ten pairs per shelf. That is over half of my collection which is better than I thought. It’s a shame but the rest must stay boxed on the left.
At least now when working in the cellar I can quickly select a pair to wear while there. Hey, that rhymes!
As the two shelves are 50cm deep I could place one heel at the back at a slight angle and the other slightly overlapping so the heel of the second one was positioned just at the edge of the shelf.
The angle makes them quite presentable.
[Ed: Presentable? To whom!?]
To me! You don't count! I doubt if anyone else will see them live. Unless I forget to remove the key when we have visitors. I can't remove the key all the time otherwise Mrs.A may ask the silly question
"Where is the second key? Have you lost it?"
My answer would be "No!" Then there would come..
"Then why don't you leave it in the lock? Then you know where it is!"
As you can imagine I don't want to go down that road..
The consequence is I leave it in most of the time. If she wants to have a look inside there is nothing to stop her. Maybe she has had a look, I just have no idea.
[Ed: You're becoming paranoid.]
Don't we know it..
Thinking about it, I need to order the heels a bit differently.
Maybe by colour or height or type or maybe ….
[Ed: Amadán!]
?

[Ed: So, are you going to get round to telling your reader how to get a look at the inside of the wardrobe before they click away in frustration?]
Woops! Almost forgot. Yes of course silly me.
Rambling on about the contents and not a dress or heel in sight!
I could have just added the pictures here but I thought I would give the contents of the wardrobe its own page as with my Heel Collection.
Maybe dear reader you have already cottoned on and are taking a look. If not please just click on the wardrobe doors here on the right. →

Stockings VII

y compression stockings don’t last that long as I go bare ‘stocking’ when I’m at home and the heels start to wear out first and holes appear, or my toe nails bore holes to get some glimpse of daylight. As I only had one pair intact it was time for new, so I ordered three pairs from an online medical supply company. Two pairs cost 72 Euros each and one pair 82 Euros.
The expensive ones had to be made to my specs as they are a so called ‘special selection’ colour and not ‘off the shelf’, in this case I picked silver grey. I also ordered some glue and new pair of donning gloves as they wear out too (I pictured a warn out pair in a previous stocking post).

Well they finally arrived this week and as I unpacked them I realised I had ordered a pair in coffee instead of caramel, the other pairs were as I intended. I looked at the coffee ones and thought they were a bit dark. Independent of the mail-order I ordered locally another pair that I can get on prescription twice a year and pay ‘only’ 25 Euros per pair. The colour was in my standard anthracite. I asked when I picked them up what would they normally cost over the counter without a prescription and was told 120 Euros! I mentioned what I had paid with my mail-order, she made excuses that the on-line shops margin would be better by buying in bulk. I said one pair was made to order, she was surprised at that and a little embarrassed I think, and I should think so with 50 Euros difference. I’m all for buying from small shops to keep them on the high street but here I could almost get two for the price of one!

Now I have four new pairs in four colours for the next year. If I have to wear them, why not be able to choose the colour for the day. A problem when they are new is they are difficult to get on. They are so shiny, they're not called ‘ultra sheer’ for nothing! For various reasons I always do a very close shave of my legs when donning new stockings. The silicon/rubber bands at the top then adhere to my shaven legs without having to use glue or wear my suspenders. I need help to keep them up later after the first few washes. Also the shininess will dull and putting them on easier. As the coffee was new, and I was interested how they looked, I went for them first. It was an act getting them on even with the new gloves which were almost useless, nobody does any proper beta testing these days!

When MrsA. saw them - I always wear short shorts around the house - she did a double take and I got that funny look. She has over time got used to seeing me in various colours, but the coffee was new.
When some of our regular friends visit I usually stay ‘exposed’ if I can put it that way. Sometimes depending on who is visiting I change into long trousers before they arrive but stay bare stocking. One has to ‘break’ some people in slowly, usually I start with my ‘standard’ anthracite colour with a short explanation if they don’t already know and then move on to the others colours later. There is hardly any ‘talk’ about them, usually they sympathize with me especially in hot weather like now, 35C is scheduled for next week which means staying cooped up in the house by the look of it.
Another disadvantage of having to wear them every day is I don’t get a tan on my legs, waist up no problem. So when I go to fitness training in shorts, without of course the stockings, one sees the stark difference between hairy brown arms and snow white shiny waxed like legs! No funny looks or remarks to date.

When buying new stockings I try to pick a colour that would match either a dress or heels in my stash. In the case of coffee I was stumped until I went thought my heel collection and remembered my Mary Jane’s.
So the next day as MrsA. was downstairs on the phone I went up into the roof where I have a mini stash of two pairs of heels, one in apricot (with matching summer dress, both which I have on now while writing this in the den) and my brown Mary Jane’s.
My main computer is in the den with four monitors, a leftover from work, which I now use as a cutting room for videos and publishing my blogs. When I get the chance I don a pair of heels and sit before the screens. Both these heels are wide fit and very comfortable as heels go.
When MrsA. is at home I have to make sure I don’t walk about too much otherwise the characteristic sound made by heels on laminated wooden flooring would echo throughout the house (luckily no heel marks up there).
In the cellar there is carpet and so its silent wobbling when I spend a few minutes before going to bed to put on my 5” nude heels, stand and flex my ankles for a moment letting them get use to the angle and then do a few rounds until I hear ‘bathrooms free!’ and then remove, pack them away and reluctantly go upstairs..

I seem to have lost the thread! Where was I?
[Ed: Yes you have lost lots of things lately! You were on your way up into the den to see how the Mary Jane’s look with the stockings!]
Yes that was it!
Keeping an ear to the chatter downstairs I unpacked the heels and put them on. As the sun was shining through the roof window I sat and took a few pictures.
Here is one of them.
Normally I only take pictures in the gloom of the cellar, it was nice this time to have proper lighting. The shine is enhanced in this light. I didn’t notice the shadow of the heel at the time of taking but I think it looks quite good..

Anything else I missed?
[Ed: Well no, not here. You still have notes to write up concerning stockings and garters would you believe, and another Nail post on stick-ons.]
Yes nails..
Which reminds me I have to shorten them.
Got that funny look again this morning at breakfast.

Pink Prom Dress – III – Twinkle, twinkle, little star...

hile writing up the other two parts of this pink post, a nursery rhyme came to mind.


Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

The first two lines made think of a chain of incidents connected to the prom dress concerning sequins, glitter and other ‘twinkles’. As I started to put it down I realised that it was becoming rather long to integrate it into the main story, so I thought I better make a separate post out of it.
But first a little about detection. If, as in my case, the other half is not aware that their partner goes fem when the chance arises, then leaving telltales around the house or on ones person can be at least awkward, if not disastrous. One has to make sure there are no perfume smells lingering around you and the house. No misplaced panties or tights that turn up uninvited on wash day and no traces of eyeliner in the corner of the eye or varnish in the corner of a nail.
[Ed: see Twilight Zone: Nails II for a close call.]
Following an ‘Abi session’ I check myself in the mirror to see if there are any traces of Abi visible. Usually if anything then it would be lipstick and a little powder. In my days working in medical labs I had to make sure nothing was allowed to contaminate my cultures. Here I have to make sure that nothing leaves the cellar other than me, well and truly de-con-tam-Abi-nated.
Well one day, as hinted on in part II, something did leave the cellar and 'the one with the eagle eyes' found it. A speck of 'twinkle', a rogue sequin that must have hitched a ride on my person out of the cellar and into the washroom where it unhitched itself fell to the floor and scurried off ..
[Ed:?]
Ok rolled..
[Ed:??]
Ok ok, too light to roll, then just lay there twinkling..
[Ed: ✔ ]

Now what made me jump, apart from her coming stealth-like up behind me in the cellar and saying quite loudly "Look what I found!!" was that, on turning round being presented directly under my nose on the end of an upturned index finger a red sequin of pink prom dress fame!
As I starred at it, a part of me mind said ‘Oh bugger!’ and the rest started to go into panic overdrive working out possible responses to a range of possible questions that very soon would be uttered from her nibs. Just as I started mentally jotting down a few responses, there came almost verbatim, the question first on my list.
”Now I wonder where that came from?”
To gain a few extra seconds to calm down, I went into loop mode.
“Where did you find it?”
“In the washroom”,
“In the washroom??”,
“Yes, in the washroom!”,
“Now, how did it get there!(?)”,
”That's what I asked!!!”,
“Oh! So it was ...ah .. really I have no idea..”
And before she could start to self-speculate I blurted out..
“Maybe it's from one of the Christmas boxes where the old Christmas cards are stored. I was clearing out making room for the new ones we got this year. You know with some of those cheap cards you only have to look at them and they lose their glitter and stuff, it gets everywhere! Maybe it got rubbed off while I was sorting out. I had emptied the boxes completely and repacked them again and probably it fell out and got stuck to me foot or something..”
 

Now this scenario was rather a good one as Christmas and the New Year were just over and I had decided to have a proper clear out before packing everything away again and storing it in the attic. Apart from the fact that over the years sequins were the last thing I had seen stuck on Christmas cards the story was quite plausible.
I took the sequin from her and pretended to scrutinise it under the light. I was trying not to show it but I was still in panic mode following the third degree from 'eagle eyes'. This was quite reasonable because I thought I had found all of the twinkles that had detached themselves while handling and wearing the prom dresses! Not only that since the middle of November I hadn't unpacked, let alone worn it. This was nearly two months before this blighter turned up!

[Ed: If you haven't read part II, then dresses in the plural and not dress in the singular may confuse somewhat.]

Exhibit a

I'll recap to the prom dress sessions in November but skip over the ordering, trying on, frustration, sending back, reordering, trying on again and finally packing it away for a rainy day. What happened between ‘frustration’ and ‘sending back’ was I found a large 'twinkle' under a chair (see Exhibit a).

Ok I wasn't that concerned until I saw it had two fastening holes for sowing it on. I suspected I had caught myself in it and ripped it off while getting in or out of the dress. I blamed myself that I should have been more careful with a dress of this type and not as usual been in hectic mode as with all Abi sessions.
 

Exhibit b

I went in search of the gaping hole it must have left in the bodice, but for the life of me I couldn't find it! Much to my relief as I had by this time decided to return it and go for a smaller size. What I did find when looking for the hole was that a few of the little stuck-on twinkle stones decided to become unstuck by just looking at them (see Exhibit b).

As I was going to pack it for returning anyway, this was a good opportunity to not produce any more contamination of the cellar through what I thought was spontaneous shedding. After packing and stashing out of sight, which took quite some ingenuity using the original bag and a complete roll of brown duct tape, I went in search for any other twinkling debris.
 

Exhibit c

I started with long range scans: walking around head down looking for tell-tale twinkling under the halogen lights followed by short range scans: down on me knees nose to the carpet with my trusty magnifying glass sleuth like. To my astonishment I found quite a few sequins (see Exhibit c) and a few more now unstuck stuck-on twinkles of Exhibit b type. 

I put away my little collection and vacuum cleaned the cellar to the astonishment of MrsA. Who because of the noise had come down and asked what I was doing. I just gave her a blank look and indicated the cleaner. As it was now obvious that a wonder had happened, she promptly turned and disappeared upstairs. I hoped this out of character manoeuvre would remove any twinkles I had overlooked.
That was that, so I thought.
Well it was until that red rogue sequin was rubbed under my nose months later.

One evening while I was rummaging around in the cellar not long after the nose rubbing incident which ended with us parting in silence, I through I saw just inside my peripheral vision a flicker of light coming from the floor. I moved slowly around in long scan mode hoping it wasn’t what I thought it was until it twinkled again.

I was immediately down on my knees in short range mode and grabbed it before it could disappear into the carpet. It was an Exhibit c type twinkle - the dreaded sequin! Having my mobile in my pocket I documented the procedure. I’ve marked the culprit in the first picture followed by a close up. I added it to the collection hoping it was now complete, although I had the feeling it wasn’t.

Sometime in February as I was again rummaging around in the cellar ‘eagle eyes’ entered swooped down and again presented me with a repeat of
“Look what I just found!”
adding
“Have we gremlins around here that deposit these things to annoy us!!?”
All I could think of was ‘Oh no, not again!’ and the famous bowl of petunias. She left with a bewildered look and nothing more, no speculation nothing. I didn’t want to press it, so I left it at that.
I didn’t even get it for the collection..
Well a couple of weeks ago a repeat performance with the famous finger and my nose. I’m not sure what play she is rehearsing at the moment but her appearance was quite dramatic!
I really don’t understand this. I’m almost every day in the cellar and even with my eyes to the floor so as not to keep bumping into things lying around, I see nothing in the twinkle dept! And on the rare occasions when she comes in to see what I’m up to, promptly she finds one!
This time she added a critical full frontal scan of my features.
“Is there a conspiracy going on here?”
The question was straight between the eyes and had nothing rhetorical about it.
 
I just stood there gob smacked, mind a blank having no idea how to react. My shoulders when up in auto mode and I made a lot effort to at least shake my head in disbelief. Before I could even start to rack my brains for an answer it was about turn and she was off. Again nothing was said. But as she went up the stairs I though I heard a low, almost inaudible mumbled chant. All I could make out was I think the word ‘double’ and maybe ‘trouble’ and I could swear with a Scottish accent..
 
Around the time of this sighting of the third kind as I was putting the other two parts of the post together, I was selecting and resizing the pictures I wanted to include. As I didn’t have the dress to hand I looked at the pictures and realised that I couldn’t see any sequins on the bodice! Examples of Exhibits a and b, but not c. Had I been panicking up the wrong tree? Maybe the sequins had another source! I decided to get to the bottom of it.

[Ed: If instead of panicking you had looked at the other pictures of the dress you would have seen the sequins in the skirt.]
True, But I hadn’t, and hence the following..
I had to wait until I was alone for a few hours, and made a bee line straight to my stash and systematically went through the boxes looking for the prom dress and of course Murphy was throwing his law about again and it was in the last one. Along the way I had the chance to check all my glitter/sequin sources.
 

My Dorothy Perkins heels were a classical source for spreading glitter about. Every time I handled them my hands were contaminated. I washed them of course but it was bound to happen sometime that MrsA saw a twinkle on the back of a hand and went for it. It looked like glitter makeup which it wasn’t as I don’t have any. The Christmas card trick wouldn’t work due to the time of year, but my backup was birthday cards and I got away with it.
 

Ok no sequins. Next I found my pink heels, the ones I used to go with the prom dress. Here were sequins in pink, not red, and they felt and looked like they were sown on pretty tight, so no loss here.
I moved on.
 

A pair of orange platform sandals bought in a fit of ‘anything orange’. A time when I was orange mad which has moved on to the current madness – Mint (see my pin boards). The heels have a bit of glitter and are totally unwalkable. Not the height or the platforms alone but just no control. One slides around in them all over the place and rarely in the direction one wants to go! A professional walker could probably do them justice, I can’t.
 

And then the last box right at the back and in the corner. I opened and there at the top my mint dress with sequins and mini twinkles, I had wondered where it had got to. Again no red in sight.
 

I dug deep and there it was, my precious. I removed it from its outer bag and very carefully opened the inner transparent bag just enough to get a proper look at the skirt without it exploding into full size. And there they were, red sequins strung out like a peal necklace. 
I took a closer look and could see no fastening as such; it looked like they were just kept there sandwiched between two layers of the material. I could not see how they could get lose without a hole in one of the layers. It look like the examples that had escaped were from the making of the dress and had hitched a ride in the packing and not unhitched themselves from the dress through wearing it. 

As I was closing the inner bag I spotted just inside the bag seal a twinkle getting ready to jump to freedom! I went for it but on opening my fingers it was gone! I sighed, packed everything away and went into search mode again. Thankfully I found it almost at once, directly under where I had opened the bag. I grabbed my mobile and took a few pictures zooming in on it. 
The first picture doesn’t show much but it is there. Next at a slightly different angle and a bit closer, now one can see the twinkle. 
The third picture a close up before digging it out and adding it to my collection.
So that’s it! No more ‘sightings’. No more nose rubbings. And to date no more prom dress sessions to get fully dressed and see how it really fits. When I get the chance to go pink again, then I’ll let you know about it. Also I can then check my theory if my collection of twinkles was from the packaging or directly from wearing the dress.

Following the experience with twinkles & Co.
the following came to mind.

Twinkle, twinkle, little stone,
Fallen from a pink dress I own,
In the cellar out of sight,
Until eagle eyes turns on the light.

Pink Prom Dress – II – Arrival & Fitting

ne morning as I entered my office there it was, an olive green plastic bundle looking like it would explode at any moment. I knew it was ‘The Dress’ as I was still in a daze and hadn’t ordered anything else since that day. Normally I would wait for an opportunity later to open my orders and take a look and if they were heels even try them on after everyone had gone home.
Here I was hesitant to even make a little hole and peek in. With the way it way puffed up and under tension I knew that if I unpacked it in no way would I get it back into the bag and closed up again. I would just have to make do with waiting until I got home.
At least I knew it was the right colour; it had the word PINK in big capital letters on the address label mixed in with cryptic article coding. If anyone had seen this from reception to my office they didn’t comment, actually thinking about it nobody said anything, not even about it arriving...
I must say that was a very long rest-of-a-day.

That evening I had the chance to disappear into the cellar and with one ear monitoring upstairs I carefully opened the package. Why is it that some plastic bags make so much crackling noise when handled! You try to be quiet and they wake the dead with every crackle! I opened just one end (minimal noise) and removed the transparent inner bag.
Wow what a pink! Pink is not my favourite colour but looking at this I could be persuaded otherwise.

I opened the inner bag and pulled out the dress.
I realised almost instantly that I was not in control. It started to unravel of its own accord as if programmed to do so! It reminded me of a runaway inflating inflatable dingy! Every time I tried to grab at one part of the skirt, it would expand in another direction! This was the first time I was in close proximity to such material and in this volume. It had a life of its own. Finally the ‘program’ hit exit and everything stopped moving. It just laid there – a sea of pink!
I sat down and starred. Before me was the real thing not just a picture of a prom dress. I let out a long wow, quiet like as if in awe of what lay before me.. 

I was tempted to try it on, but realised this was going to be no mean feat considering all the material. It was a no go anyway, as MrsA could come down anytime to check the washing machine which was rumbling next door, also they had forgot to include the instruction manual with the dress. A long Abi session would be needed to explore this unknown terrain.
I pulled my eyes away from the glitter and twinkling of sequins and stones and made a temporary storage space for quick access at the next session, by the look of it I would need all the time I could get. I also had to figure out in which stash box it would be stored or start a new one for ‘my pink precious’.
With the quick stash area in easy reach and no movement from upstairs I decided to at least lace the ribbon into the loops at the back of the dress before calling it a day. I didn’t leave any slack because I was afraid I wasn’t going to need any, just the opposite by the look of it..
I packed it away as best I could; normal folding as with most materials wasn’t possible, it just sprung apart again! It would have been better to hang it up but that was out of the question as with all my dresses. I must admit I’m not really some one that looks after clothes in general, but funny enough with my dresses its different, another relationship. I find it really frustrating to have to fold them together and depending on the material knowingly crease them before literally stuffing them in boxes. It hurts.

To save even more time on the evening before the next Abi session, I went in search of my pink heels. I was also thinking of looking for a corset, but I still had a feeling that the dress was too big and it wouldn’t help. Also putting it on would take time and I wanted to know as quick as possible where I was size wise. The next day as soon as I returned from taxing MrsA to rehearsals, I was off down into the cellar. I unpacked the dress and spread it out over a chair.
I was now confronted with the logistics of getting into it.
 

I had no real idea on how to proceed; there was so much material to get into! I had no first hand, let alone second hand knowledge about contraptions of this kind. I never saw anyone putting on a dress of this type and never found any YouTube videos titled ‘How princesses put on dresses’ or ‘How not to ruin your prom by tripping up while putting your dress on’.
No. No tips anywhere.
 

This could of course mean either there wasn’t any out there, or that it would be so simple and straight forward that it was not deemed necessary to even include an IKEA like schematic diagram in the packaging. As I held up the dress and turned it around, I started my own set of instructions. At the top was: Try and not step on to the material as you get into it.

With this in mind, I decided to sit down and step with both feet into the top and work it up until I had to stand and bring up the rest. It worked; I then drew up the dress very slowly making sure I didn’t feel any resistance which would have meant I was down there standing ‘on it’ and not ‘in it’.
At last I was standing, the skirt kind of rested on my hips - what there is of them - but I had the feeling the dress would slip any time and the bodice even with the lacing done up to maximum felt lose. Ok as in the picture I didn’t have to constantly hold it up and although I wasn’t ‘fully’ dressed under the bodice, I knew that the dress was too large. 
Darn it!

There had been always the chance that the theoretical work upfront would be off and now I had the proof that it was. Ok it was not ideal, but as I had come this far I decided to see if the skirt length was at lease correct, in bare feet it was catching in the carpet.
I sat down. Well it was more of a panic initiated fall down. I just couldn’t see my legs! I of course knew they were in there somewhere, but without visual feedback I was afraid I would tangle my feet in or stand on the dress, and so instead I just flopped down onto the chair. Rather hard as it turned out as I was a little bit further away from it than I thought.
 
In all that pink I went in search of my feet. I eventually found them and it was on with the heels. I was now ‘armed’ down there with two pointed weapons. The last thing I wanted to do at this time was heel the hem, so I very, very slowly started to go about getting up again. As I checked my balance I made sure I gathered and held as much of the skirt in my hands up and away from the floor as I could until I was fully standing.
 

I let lose the skirt and enjoyed the sensation of the material cascading down my bare freshly shaven legs. Wow, now that was something! I slowly started towards the mirror and while doing so saw my reflection for the first time.
It just hit me and I abruptly stopped.
Up until that moment I was occupied with being somewhat down with the realisation of choosing the wrong size and concentrating on the mechanics of getting into and standing in the dress without mishap.
As I starred at myself in the mirror I had the feeling of detachment, as if that was someone else in the mirror. It didn't last long, the sensation of the heels and the caressing of the skirt brought me back into sync.
 

I have never in all my years had this type of tactile sensation in the clothes dept. I felt my eyes starting to water up as I thought about what I had missed over the years. I quickly got hold of myself again, quite literary in fact; being half blinded at that moment I instinctively grabbed two handfuls of skirt and raised them so as to complete the manoeuvre to the mirror without stumbling.
 
You’re not normally conscious of wearing every day clothes, apart from selecting what to wear for the day or when one gets compliments to them. With this dress it was really something else, in its own category, a completely new feeling for me.
I was fascinated with the space it took up around me, a space that you had to be constantly conscious with every move of trying to anticipate and avoid collisions, like having to think ahead when contemplating a simple thing like sitting down.
It may be a silly comparison but it's like when you get a new car and drive it for the first time. You have to take on the space it takes up and make its handling an extension of the ‘you’, especially in my case when reversing or parking as with the dress when I tried to reverse and park myself on the chair. It’s good that cars have bumpers and I some built-in padding at my rear end. Ok it becomes routine over time, if one has the opportunity that is.
 

After spending what seemed like ages looking at myself in the mirror - I won’t go so far to say admiring myself - I checked the length and found I had an inch or so to spare to the floor. It looked good. At least that had worked out ok. I raised the hem to check I wasn’t standing on its inner layers and then let it fall again.
The length was just about right for careful walking and dancing.. Did I just say dancing? [Ed: Yes, dancing!]
Ok, ok nobody is going to whisk me around the dance floor in this or any other dress. Usually it’s me taking the lead and doing the whisking around.
But still the idea.. [Ed: ? ]

I started to look slowly up away from my feet. The skirt was sitting well enough, the bodice was not. As I said it was lose and was not fitting snugly at all. It had creases, not how I had imagined it. Then I saw my shoulders & upper arms and winced. What one doesn’t have in the chest and hips dept. one can build up and with the appropriate ‘tools’ pull in the waist. But one cannot ‘build down’ ones shoulders, only hide them in some way.
 

I had an idea, I went mentally through my wardrobe until I found what I thought would do nicely to cover them, a light cream coloured bolero like thing.
I had originally bought it for covering my shoulders with my sleeveless festive dresses. It’s not ideal colour wise but was dirt cheap and surprisingly in my size (I’m always surprised when I find something in my size). I decided to dig it out and see how it looked.
Now that was a problem, I couldn’t remember in which of my 10 stash boxes I had parked it!
 

[Ed: And where was that detailed inventory list with type, colour, size and location that I painstakingly created and edited for you?]
Yes, yes I know the one your thinking about, it’s just I couldn’t remember where that was located either! Maybe I was getting into panic mode as time was moving on. There was nothing for it but go through them all. 

As eight of my boxes are stored above shoulder level it was not easy to climb up onto a chair and bring them down one by one until I had found the bolero. It was in the fifth box I opened. And all this in the prom dress! That cost time and a balancing act I can tell you!
[Ed: At least you removed your heels.]
Yes but only after the third box! I was so annoyed with not remembering where I had stashed the list and therefore in which box the bolero was that I just forgot about them! At least it shows that the heels are comfortable but not, in the long run, ideal for climbing expeditions.
 

I was pleased with the look; it covered my shoulders and arms quite well. It’s cuddly too, even if it is pure synthetic crackling like a distant electrical storm when one takes it off. What I like is that it twinkles a little in the light as with the dress. The pictures don’t show this well, as with all my snaps, but you can get some impression with the pictures here.
 

Time was getting on and I had to get changed, pack everything away and store the boxes back in their places. Instead of actively getting out of the dress I thought I would see how lose it was. So I just wriggled about a bit and it fell without help to the floor. Yes it was really lose. I stepped out and gathered it up and held it to me. This phase is always a little sad when a session comes to an end, especially when a growing panic comes on that I’ll not clear up in time.
Of course I made it with time to spare, but funny enough you only know that afterwards. I checked and re-checked for any tell-tale Abi activity around the cellar before returning upstairs to daylight. Its routine now, which, if one is not careful can lead to mistakes. 
Well it did. 
I had missed something, but I’ll dedicate a complete post to this in part III.

So what next?
I spent the next days, looking at the pictures I had taken. I could see that the bodice was not sitting right and this just underlined the fact I wasn’t at all happy with the situation.
[Ed: More disappointed than usual?]
Yes, the prom dress session was lovely, but the dress way too lose which put the dampers on it all. Usually I’m always positive about such sessions. There is always the fun and play part to it all. The colours, the lacy and twinkle glitter bits, the different materials and the different perspective when ‘high’ on heels. In all it makes me for a while content if that’s the right word. It brings me home to a part of me that had no tangible chance over the years to express its self, now I can to a certain extent. I would be even more content if I could be ‘me’ more often in my own time and having the chance to get completely dressed from wig to painting my toe nails. Will see what comes being home all the time.

So I had to make a decision with the dress:

1. keep it and on rare occasions get it out and wear it but with the frustration that it didn’t fit as it should, or
2. send it back and that was that, no pink prom dress, or
3. send it back and order the next size down, giving me the chance of 1. with I hoped less frustration as the next size should fit better.

I was mildly surprised that I decided on 3. as with this whole pink prom dress business.
Another first for me was sending articles back to the UK. Here in Germany with the large on-line retailers like Zalando, they don’t charge any P&P within the country, making one less hesitant when ordering and returning. With the UK, it would mean giving out P&P three times (2x UK to here and 1x back to UK). I would then be paying about 120% on top compared to the price of the dress. This sounds a lot, but the dress wasn’t that expensive only standard international parcel post is.
I packed it as best I could in the original bag, a tight squeeze but with enough brown tape it looked like it would survive the trip and then it was off to the post office. I was a little afraid it would disappear into the UK postal black hole which I had had experience in the past (see Twilight Zone: Stockings VI), but it would be tracked so I had some info when and where it was. On the same day I ordered the dress in the size UK26 and went into waiting mode again.

Three days later there it was again on my desk. I checked the label and noticed in addition to the expected word PINK; I saw a little ‘26’ mixed in with the coding. My heart beat a little faster as I packed it away for smuggling home.
 
I left it packed until my next Abi session came along. I had been waiting long enough that a few more days wouldn’t make any difference. Of course it did make a difference as I was developing mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I was eager to open and try it on. On the other I was somewhat hesitant because it could mean it was still too large and then what would I do?
So the day came where I would have again about three hours alone. So it was down to the cellar and carefully unpacked it. I held it up and critically looked at the bodice. Ok it was 2 inches smaller going by the size chart but one couldn’t see this. The only chance was to try it on. I dug out my white corset knowing where it was after remembering its location by the last box hunt. I pulled myself in as far as I could without going over the top. I need a clear head, not circulation problems with potential blackouts.
 
Well, it fitted much better than the other one. Again I wasn’t fully dressed in the chest dept. To do this properly I need more preparation time and I didn’t think I had it. I did have my strapless bra on (recently bought for this purpose), but no time to create a cleavage. I just wanted to see in principle if I needed to contemplate another size down. Which I was happy to say was not the case. The lacing at the back was almost closed and when I create the right bust I expect I would have more flexibility in tightening up the back.
This time I pinned on the bow to demonstrate that the dress was going to stay.
 
So I spent some time enjoying the feeling of the dress. Moving around in it, learning to sit down and in the heels standing up without having to use the chair as support. 
After looking at the clock I tried the wiggling test, and to my satisfaction the dress didn’t fall down. This time only a little sad having to call it a day and packing everything away. It had been a long haul but I was happy to have now a princess dress (in pink) in my collection.
 
Since that session in November last year and writing this up I haven’t had it on again. 
One of the reasons for this is that I’m a little hesitant in unpacking it. 
See the third, and yes finial part of this post to find out why..