[Ed: What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?].
I don’t know how to start this.. .. You do it ..
[Ed: What do you mean "You do it", that’s not part of the job description apart from a ring side seat perched up here on your right shoulder. I'm here to check your atrocious spelling and Germanic infected grammar, which is not surprising after 40 years in this part of the woods.
I must have had a momentary lapse of reason to ever have thought of a blog in the first place. I was never good at languages, to my bad English I now have bad German. Spelling was and is always a panic attack, I just go blank! Now with German it’s slightly easier, well a bit…
[Ed: Okay, okay. Actually it's because you don't pronounce the word correctly and therefore go off in the wrong direction. For example you’ve added a blog page for slang and idioms that will crop up as you go along, not a bad idea and the title should be “Colloquialisms”.
So how long did it take to spell it correctly?]
Won’t tell, it’s embarrassing.
[Ed: Then I will, 15 minutes of wandering around half the globe online! You couldn’t even get the first letter right! Got there in the end via “idioms” I’ll give you that, but what a long haul that was!]
Ok, if this blog is going to be a sequence of revelations and outings then here‘s the first to get going: Yes! I own up. I’m dyslectic! Even my online spell checker had to correct the word after I entered it! At school I could never understand why I was supposed to look up a word in the dictionary when I couldn't spell it! I was stumped after the first letter, how in someone’s name was I to ...
[Ed: That enough about spelling, make a post out of it later, otherwise we will never get this intro finished.]
{long pause}
Nope, it’s still difficult to get moving..
[Ed: Did you do what I suggested?]
Yes I went to some of the other blogs to see how they kick-started theirs.
[Ed: And?]
No true inspiration all well done and moving but..
[Ed: Okay, thought as much, try again, this time take a deep breath and blunder into it as Cass advised you to do.]
Yes your right, ok …
Hello good evening and welcome...
[Ed: Whoa, what’s all this “good evening” lark? This is not a talk show before a live audience where all time pieces are roughly in sync, but an undefined global public who may wander by with their own private time zones.]
Then what should I do?
[Ed: Try something like good -morning -afternoon -evening and boy aren’t you up late! ]
That’s silly.
[Ed: The last .. let me count .. the last 456 words have been silly, so what’s wrong with that? A certain amount of silly-ness keeps yours and in the end, my sanity.]
{a longer pause than the last long pause}
This is not going as I envisaged, it’s difficult to just talk into emptiness..
[Ed: You’re off on the wrong foot. You’re not “talking” but “writing” there's no interactivity apart from delayed comments, if any. 

Here’s an idea, we'll do an interview and I’ll coax what I can out of you.]
Good idea, I could have thought of that ..
[Ed: .. ? ..
Okay let me think, I should theoretically know as much about you as you yourself.]

Don't count of that..
[Ed: Hey! Don’t go down that road will you! Right let’s see. Okay, so what and where are you from?]
I'm an 'alf cockney Londoner living in Germany since the early seventies.
With a touch of the blarney for good measure.
[Ed: That accounts to some extent for the lingo and this crazy dialogue.
Why are you still here, location wise that is? Note, good readers that this is not a question I drummed up, but has been asked a number of times over the years from 'natives' with a surprised look on their faces when they hear how long the residency is to date.]

Um, jury is still out on that one. But I must say I do wake up some mornings (ok, every morning ...), take a deco in the mirror, get the - what I call - "mind/body age discrepancy shock" and then ask myself what the heck am I still doing here!
[Ed: Okay, keep going.]
Well, when I first came here I never really thought about staying. But I met my future wife almost immediately, we bought a washing machine and that sort of clinched it. And so I’ve been here ever since.
[Ed: Interesting, never heard of dirty washing bringing people together, takes all types I suppose. You’re on a roll, keep moving.]
Right, well I needed to earn money, and as I had worked in clinical research in London, I thought I would see what I could do here. One morning I walked on to the medical campus entered the first building with an open door and asked the janitor (it was very early in the morning) in a rehearsed German if there were any vacancies. Funny enough I didn’t end up washing floors but through a chain reaction of friendly people ended up in pathology..
[Ed: Are you sure they were friendly? Doesn’t sound it.]
I started to work in the pathology dept.!
[Ed: Oh!]
I must admit that the first few months were pretty quiet ..
[Ed: Understandable with all those stiffs in the cellar..]
No No! I had no German and my usual patter was useless! I could only listen to begin with. I learned German eventually mainly "on the go". I cottoned on quite quickly to what anglophile means to some people and made some good friends. My daily routine is speaking and thinking in German but rarely do I write in it, as the standard language for paperwork is English.
[Ed: Ok, now the big one. Who is Abigale and how long has she been around?]
Oh! Yes I thought you would come to that. Obvious I suppose you being me.
[Ed: Yep! Go for it girl.]
I think she has always been there in the background biding her time, no that’s not right, she is a personification of the feminine aspect of “Me” and she is now having the chance to express herself in the real world, and at last, to balance the books in some way. The masculine aspect of "Me" is having a hard time at the moment and is more or less banned to the backseat since Abigale appeared at the beginning of 2014. 

The construct of two sides of Me is of course an over simplification of what I’m experiencing and who I am or becoming. But it allows me in a “dual role” to interface to the outside world and plot a frame of reference for critical observation to the inside from two points of view.
I will not try and sub-label myself within the Trans community. Some people know how I feel with excess pigeonholing. Self-evaluation is difficult, if not right impossible with one’s own built-in biases. I have only one label that holds true at the moment and that’s “predominantly complicated”.
[Ed: I’ll second that!]
You would. In the course of this blog I will revaluate and update. In addition I would like to say that I feel that “Me” belongs here among all the wonderful and compassionate people I have met online and had the honour to communicate with in the last months. Thank you.
[Ed: All right, I won’t admit I understood that last bit about duality, balance and frames of reference, but I’ll give you 8 out of 10 for trying. So to the last question of the day.]
I thought we were finished!
[Ed: No, one last thing, what should them there out expect from the blog?]
Well, No real idea. I'll bring up my past by opening windows to my CDing memories and Abi's learning curve in the feminine department. Any references to living or deceased persons mentioned directly or indirectly will be reduced to one-letter acronyms to protect the innocent. For the not-so-innocent contact details will be added in brackets. I'm not going to limit the bog to only “Me” things however.
[Ed: Okay then what?]
Don’t push me! Oh very well.

I’ll include the political implications of suppressing methane emissions in cows with excess flatulence in Iceland, the pros and cons of terraforming Mars so we can all move there and leave our rubbish behind, discuss the merits of opening a school for whales to show them how to use a GPS navigation system to stop them stranding themselves and taking up touristic beach space…..
… How in someone’s name am I supposed to know at this time what I’m going to air-on about!! 
As the locals say "Et kütt wie et kütt", we will see, when we see it! 
[Ed: Okay! don’t get your knickers in a twist..]
They are nice aren’t they..
[Ed: Yes, like the colour..]
Orange, um, yes like orange and the intricate lace trimmings..
[Ed: Yes very nice, where you get them.]
Online as with all my girly things..
[Ed: No chance to get out?]
No! not the way I look, I wouldn’t dare!
[Ed: Shame.. ]
Yes it is…
[Ed: Shall I put the kettle on?]
A lovely idea! Could do with a cuppa after that. Watcha think, did we overdo it?
[Ed: No idea, maybe someone will read it. If this doesn’t put them off reading your posts nothing will.
Do you want a bicky with your tea?]

Yes, rich tea please..
[Ed: Shall I push the publishing button for this page, or do you want to?]
[Ed: Right.]

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