05 January 2015

ObserVation: First Birthday

’ve just realised that it’s my birthday today! I know this because I have two birthday greetings (thanks Daria and Josephine) and one bot birthday greeting in my inbox this morning. Not only that, it’s my 1st birthday! Why the 5th. of January you ask? Well you haven’t asked but I’m going to tell you anyway…. 
Last May I decided to create accounts for Abigale on Gmail, Google and on Pinterest. As I was completing the Google required fields and came to birth date I hesitated. So what was it to be, the date I cried my first cry or think one up on the fly. I’m not paranoid concerning traceability, but Murphy’s Law will kick in whenever it gets the chance. I was a little bit wary at the time and still am, more so and I hope wiser since I started networking. I would have liked to skip this entry altogether so that I could just finish and let the account lay there in wait for someone to stumble over it, but no, Google would not let me. 
As I was creating the account for Abigale I though the “cry” date wasn’t really correct anyway. Ok what date to choose then, a pin in a calendar? No, too impersonal. And then I tried to remember how long Abigale had been around. Well I suppose she had always been there since my earliest days, but mainly in the background having a few adventures over the years. Well ok, but how long has she been around in name? 
I started to reflect. 
I had been thinking about girl names and the idea of giving myself one for quite some time and in choosing one I knew I would get all tingly inside. It would be like stepping over a threshold and confirming at least to myself, that I was going to now take the female part of me seriously and get more active. Giving myself a girl’s name would bypass the outer facade and allow one to talk directly to the girl within. With this in mind choosing a name was not going to be easy, all I knew was that I had to be happy and get a little feeling of butterflies when someone would address me so, or write “Dear …” with it.
And then I remembered the day, it was a couple of days after the birthday of MrsA. We had been talking about the first names in our families and discussing “Namenstag” (names day), which in some parts of Germany are more important than the birthday. Not sure when that evening the name Abigale came to mind, I checked it and it passed the test (see post “Naming of Cats”) and on top of that it just “clicked”. I was happy hearing myself saying it over and over in my head in different contexts: laughing, crying, being called and told off with it. Later alone, I repeated it aloud with “Hi! my name is Abigale” and that moved me to watery eyes in the stillness that followed. 
At that point I knew I couldn’t go back, with stepping over the threshold Abigale was here to stay. And back to what? I’m still not sure, in reflection maybe there was no threshold but a natural inevitable progression. I cannot really say and maybe I don’t need to.
And so I added Abigale’s birth date with the 5th. of January to Google and let her cry her first cry as I hit the submit button.

[Ed: For the birthday cake she ordered online, the auto corrector got the better of her and it arrived with the wrong text. This she only realised after the second slice and so reclamation was not possible]
Are you implying I’m greedy!
[Ed: No, just hasty when it comes to eating]
Same thing! 

[Ed: No it isn’t! I was just trying to say …]
… Do you want a piece? 

[Ed: Thought you would never ask!]

 

5 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you Halle!
      Now I'm back at work I can get some serious blogging (and mailing xx) done!

      Delete
  2. Happy Birthday Abigale Wet Kisses Maxi

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wish you a happy, happy birthday, too, Abi and all the best for the days to come In a more feminine future, I hope.
    Hugs, Feli

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very kind of you Feli, I hope so too.
      Hugs, Abi

      Delete